


Hogwarts Knows All

by theultimatenerd04



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 1: The Philosopher's Stone, But mostly just confused, Character Study, Dysphoria, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Transgender, gender euphoria, transgender Harry Potter, transgender character, transgender harry, what can i say? Harry is being weird af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theultimatenerd04/pseuds/theultimatenerd04
Summary: Sometimes Harry feels uncomfortable in his own skin. Sometimes he feels like all his curves and angles are in the whole place. Sometimes he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to express himself.But then he gets his Hogwarts letter and Harry thinks that maybe this will be the solution to his problems, lost in a world where he can be Harry instead of Harriet. The anxiety is still there, the stress that someone might know. But then something happens that sends a flood of euphoria and gratitude through him. Harry has never felt so happy, so accepted. He never wants to go home.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Ron Weasley
Comments: 5
Kudos: 83





	Hogwarts Knows All

**Author's Note:**

> Here is this new thing I've been trying to write for goodness knows how long. As usually, I am pushing my own experiences with gender onto Harry (poor him) so TW for gender dysphoria. It does get better, however if you feel like you will be triggered, please don't read this. Your mental health is more important than any amount of reads, kudos or comments, especially in these trying times. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't know Harry Potter and I'm also writing this from the perspective of a non-binary person. I don't know what trans ftm dysphoria feels like so if I get anything wrong, please let me know and I'll fix it asap. 
> 
> Enough of me rambling, I hope you enjoy!

“Harry! Are you coming up?” Ron poked his head down the stairs and Harry looked up, smiling wanly at his new friend. 

“Yeah, I’ll be up in a sec…I’m just looking at common room.”

Harry watched as Ron’s face disappeared and his gaze resettle onto the staircase in front of him, leading up to the boys’ dormitory. His eyes sparkled with a mixture of resentment and anxiety; hands fiddle with the hem of his t-shirt. 

Students kept coming and going, walking up and then back down the stairs. Harry barely took notice. The only thing in his head was a taunting repetition of his head of house’s earlier statement. 

“Girls, please do not try to access the boys’ dormitory. The stairs are charmed to turn into a slide, and you will not be permitted entry. Any rendezvous will have to take place in the common room. The same thing applies to boys attempting to access the girls’ dormitory.” She had continued after that, but Harry’s mind had blanked out, brain replaying those terrifying words. 

Now here he stood, staring at the archway that held either the key to finding validation like he had never felt or being rejected and having everyone know. Harry wasn’t sure he wanted to take the risk. Maybe he could just sleep in the common room. Tell everyone that he sleepwalked and didn’t want to disturb them. Maybe that could work. 

Harry’s mind flashed through statements that sounded more like queries. Nothing was solid, everything was shifting, almost too fast for him to keep up. His mind was getting away from him, swept up in a way of anxiety and panic. 

He stared at the stairs for another moment, forehead creased, eyes shining with trepidation. Harry took one step forward and then another one. His chest moved up and down almost robotically as Harry reminded himself to keep breathing. A rubber band contrasted tighter around his lungs the closer he got to the object of his terror, but Harry kept moving. He couldn’t stop, not when he was so close. He knew he couldn’t put this off forever. Even if he did sleep in the common room, eventually someone would start asking questions he would prefer not to answer. 

The base of the stairs loomed in front of him, almost taunting him in their innocence. They didn’t know that agony they were causing him, of course not, they were only stairs. Harry took a deep breath, pushing the rubber band to its limits before stepping on to the first step. Then the second. And then the third. Soon he was halfway up, heart beating wildly. 

The rubber band loosened but didn’t snap. He wasn’t out of the woods yet. Harry kept moving, gradually getting faster and faster, almost as though he thought that he could outrun the enchantment lain on the stairs centuries ago. 

The door to his dormitory was within sight and then within reach. Harry grasped the door and pulled it open, sinking to the floor. His roommates gaped in front of him, but Harry didn’t care. His knees were shaking, weak from the jubilation coursing through his body. 

He had made it. Harry James Potter had made it. Not Harriet Lily Potter. Harry James Potter. 

Harry had always known who he was, even before he learnt the term for it but never before had he felt so damn accepted, even it was just by a semi-sentient school. In that moment, Harry felt a brush of awe, respect and extreme gratitude for the castle he would call home for the next seven years. 

It may only be a semi-sentient castle, but Hogwarts knows all.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to comment/kudos before you go! It only takes a second and it is a major motivator to write more. Also if you're interested in stuff with trans characters, I'm writing an original with a gender fluid main character so check it out if you're interested. It's uploaded on this account. 
> 
> Stay safe and i hope you enjoyed my newest ficlet!


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